The traditional version needs some color!

Kasha varnishkes!

“Kasha”, or buckwheat groats, is a staple in the Russian diet and kasha varnishkes exist throughout Poland, Russia, and the Ukraine in many variations. Kasha varniskes are a typical uzhyn (supper) meal for Russian families.

Looking forward to my recipe for kasha varnishkes?

Well, you’re outta luck.

I set forth recently to make a batch and discovered, too late, that I was out of buckwheat groats.

I thought long and hard about substituting pearl barley, but I would have to soak it for at least four hours (or overnight). Time was wasting and supper needed to be on the table in less than an hour.

What now?

What about using bulgur wheat? Nah…I’d still have to prepare it.

What about quinoa?

Now we’re talking Phyne Dyning.

We love quinoa. Toasted, it has a wonderful, nutty flavor and the toasting process gives the house a homey, peanut butter cookie smell. Quinoa is a wonderful substitute for rice and is high in protein. Before it is prepared, quinoa looks a LOT like Thelma’s bird seed. Cooked, it looks like little, white tadpoles with curly tails.

Quinoa

The issue settled; I began to explore my fridge for a few items to toss in, besides the traditional onion and mushroom mix.

There, lying forlornly in the bottom of my produce drawer, was a lonely carrot and a stalk of celery. The two would add some needed color to a dish that can be overwhelmingly “brown”.

The result here is not unique to one cultural flavor. It is a blend of South American, Russian, and Polish flavors and represents what wonderful things can come from mixing culinary heritages.

So, here we go!

1 C quinoa

2 C diced onion

2 C course-chopped mushrooms

½ C diced celery

½ C diced carrot

2 TBS vegetable oil

2 large cloves garlic, minced

8oz uncooked bow tie pasta

1 tsp vegetable base or bullion cube

2 tsp dried dill weed

2 tsp Penzey’s “Krakow Nights” Polish-style seasoning blend

2 C water

Toast the quinoa in a (large) heavy, dry skillet (that has a cover, but do not use the cover at this point) over medium heat for about ten minutes or until the quinoa turns golden and the grains start popping heartily. Savor the aroma! Set the quinoa aside to cool and then remove to a clean, small bowl.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a gentle boil.

Return the skillet to medium heat and add the oil. When the oil is shimmering, add the onion and sauté it until it is just turning golden. Stir in the celery, carrot, and mushrooms. Season the mixture with one teaspoon of Penzey’s “Krakow Nights” and then stir in the garlic. Cook for one minute. Add the toasted quinoa, the vegetable base, and the water. Bring to a boil and then reduce the heat to simmer, cover, and cook for about 15 minutes.

While the quinoa and veggies are cooking, begin cooking the pasta in the boiling water when about 6 minutes remain for the quinoa cooking time. The pasta and quinoa will finish at roughly the same time. Using a slotted spoon, remove the pasta from the water and transfer it to the quinoa-vegetable mix. Sprinkle the remaining Penzey’s “Krakow Nights” seasoning over everything and then sprinkle with the dried dill. Toss the pasta and quinoa well to mix.

Serve, Russian-style, in shallow bowls. Accompany with neat glasses of vodka or strong, sweet tea.

Prijatnova appetita! (Bon appetite!)

According to news reports, the Washington County Attorney’s Office announced last Friday that it is dropping OWI charges against Keokuk County Sheriff, Jeffrey Earl Shipley.

According to Washington County Attorney, Larry Brock, his office “…deferred prosecution because Shipley was ‘still coping with the tragic events’ involving a fatal shooting of Keokuk County Deputy Eric Stein…” last April.

Say what?

Shipley refused to take a chemical test for blood alcohol content. He also refused to perform in the roadside gymnastics his fellow jackboots…errr, edict enforcers…call a “field sobriety test”.

News reports also state that Shipley “refused to go to the booking room” at the local lockup.

Ordinary citizens who refuse to “comply with officer instructions” can end up with boot prints on their foreheads as parting gifts from arresting officers and jail staff.

It seems “zero tolerance” for OWI does not apply to the Blue Brotherhood.

This was not Shipley’s first outing with Demon Rum and motorized transportation. He pleaded guilty in 2008 to operating a motorboat while intoxicated.

“Nothing to see here, folks. Move along!”

One of the complaints issued by American colonists against their lawful government (King George III) was that the king and his men (officers) exempted themselves from the king’s laws.

The preacher was deluged with mail, most of it impolite, and about a hundred gay, and gay rights supporting, protesters showed up during the church’s Sunday service.

Not being a Christian, I had no familiarity with whether or not Jesus ever issued a position statement on gay issues. But I am familiar with the writings Jesus, an observant Jew, used when discussing other matters of his policy. I recalled something about male homosexuality that is prohibited.

Just to be sure, I looked in each of the several copies I keep to see if G-d’s position on homosexuality had changed.

Nope. It’s still there.

Male homosexuality is specifically prohibited conduct. And by a stretch of the positive commandment to “be fruitful and multiply”, female homosexuality is also prohibited.

So, it would appear that, according to the rules of play set forth by Gee-Dash-Dee (AKA “G-d”), the pastor was correct. “Gay is not okay.”

In fact, at my last count, there are six hundred and thirteen things that G-d says we “shall” or “shall not” do. And, if you bring Talmud into the discussion, there are literally thousands of ancillary “shalls” and “shall nots”.

Evokes a "Jesus Facepalm"

Still, the state sells barber’s licenses to barbers who “round the corners of the beard” and shave men with knife-like razors. Adulterers can marry. Thieves are permitted to use money. Those who drive on the Sabbath are given vehicle

registrations.

And my favorite: Liars and cheats are permitted to persist in the political world.

On one hand, Bob Vander Plaats and his merry band of Christian Talibanists are nowhere to be seen picketing barber colleges, banks, or the DMV. In fact, Bobby is a politician.

Go figure.

I guess it’s just “gay” that pisses them off.

On the other hand, we do not see secularists carrying signs protesting bearded rabbis. There are no representatives of the Free Love Movement picketing houses of worship where adultery is scorned. Paroled bank robbers have not taken to marching on institutions upholding property rights.

For Demastus and his followers, “Gay is not okay”.

Okay.

For members of the GLBT community, Demastus’ religious beliefs should not dictate the law of the land or the social acceptability of homosexuals outside of his church.

Okay.

As a long-time supporter of equal rights for everyone, I fail to see where Demastus erred. He simply made a statement that is consistent with Scripture. I saw nothing indicating that Demastus and his followers meant to harm homosexuals or that he incited others to do so.

On the other hand, Demastus received numerous threats against his personal safety.

How is that right? What was their message, “Show tolerance, or else”? Doesn’t anyone else see the lack of logic here? Threatening people who have a different point of view is not okay.

Demastus subsequently changed his church sign to read, “Adultery is not okay”.

I know a lot of people who have committed adultery. There were no calls on social media to picket Demastus and there were no threats made in retaliation for his stand against adultery.

What else could Demastus pick? Who else could he piss off with his sign?

Eating winged, swarming creatures is not okay!

Striking your mother or father is not okay!

Leavening on Passover is not okay!

Kidnapping is not okay!

Delaying payment of wages is not okay!

Oppression of another (with words) is not okay!

Demanding payment from those who cannot pay is not okay!

Gossip is not okay!

Revenge is not okay!

Mamzerim (bastards) marrying Jewish women is not okay!

A kohen marrying a zonah  (Look ‘em up.) is not okay!

There is a “not okay” for each of the 365 days of the year. Think of the possibilities!

According to Scripture, tattoos are also specifically “not okay”.

Hell-bound and doesn't know it.

If Demastus put up “Tattoos are not okay” on his marquee, would legions of local tattoo artists, merchant sailors, and most of the women under 50 years of age in Des Moines show up at his church and make death threats?

Why doesn’t the tattooed Popeye stand out as a symbolic example of “moral decay” for the Family Leader?

Demastus is the leader of a church. Houses of worship are where we do crazy. I am willing to stipulate that there is an equal amount of (secular) crazy on the streets outside.

So long as religious crazy stays inside the church, synagogue, or mosque, I have no problem. So long as the secular craziness outside stays out of churches, synagogues, and mosques, I have no problem.

I wonder how many of Demastus’ flock wore suits, dresses, shirts, pants, coats, hats, and other apparel made of mixed linen and wool to Sunday’s services?

That’s just as “not okay” as homosexuality.

What is my take-home message from Demastus’ sign and the resulting uproar it caused from some members of the GLBT community?

“Stupid” on both sides of the gay rights issue made headlines.

That’s not okay.

We are particularly fond of the Persian version.

In my opinion, it is best to go gently when adding cardamom. You’re just after a bit of floral accent and cardamom can quickly overpower lighter flavors of the dish if it is used too generously.

My recipe is not entirely traditional and authentic, because I added a bit of texture (and color) with diced celery. Quite honestly, this is a very modest appearing meal that is mainly “brown” and it can stand a bit of color. A bit of added diced carrot could also brighten up its appearance without changing the flavors.

I recently took this to a Shabbat potluck where it met with rave reviews. The version below makes enough to feed a small army and I often cut it by over half for our own table.

A quick note about lentils: I use a mixture of green and brown lentils for megadarra. Any lentils must be carefully sorted for stones and then carefully rinsed. And, like beans, I do not add salt until the dish is nearly done. Adding salt early makes the lentils tough and chewy.

Let’s get started!

2 C green and brown lentils

2 C long-grain rice

4 TBS olive oil

2 C onion, chopped

4 C onion, thinly sliced

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp cinnamon

½ tsp ground cardomom

4 C vegetable stock (or water)

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 C celery, small dice

salt and freshly ground black pepper

Carefully sort and rinse the lentils. Place the lentils in a large, uncovered pot and cover with about 3 inches of water. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to a simmer. If a thin “scum” forms on the cooking water, skim it off using a small spoon. Cook the lentils for 25-35 minutes, or until just tender but still firm. Do not over-cook the lentils or they will turn to mush.

Heat 1 ½ tbs of olive oil in a large skillet. Add the onions and cook until they are translucent. Stir in the celery and cook until the onions are just golden. Add the garlic, ½ tsp cumin, ½ tsp cinnamon, and ¼ tsp cardamom, and then the uncooked rice. Stir until the rice is coated with oil and just turning golden. Drain the lentils or ladle them out of the cooking water using a sieve or fine colander. Add the lentils to the rice and then add the water or stock. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to simmer. Cover tightly and cook about 15 minutes or until the rice is tender. Check the pot about halfway through and add water if the pot is getting dry. Do not allow the pot to dry out or the lentils will scorch.

Heat the remaining olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the sliced onions and cook until they are deep brown, sweet, and crispy. You may need to add a bit more oil. When the onions are nearly done, sprinkle them with a bit of the remaining spices and then add the rest of the spices to the rice and lentil mixture.

Now, add salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. Toss the rice and lentils with a fork to fluff and then heap them in a serving bowl. Scatter the fried onions over the top and garnish with a bit of chopped parsley.

This can be served as a side dish or as a vegetarian main course.

It’s been a while since I offered up a shameless plug for a kitchen product. Given my recent experience with pantry moths, I thought I’d share a success story about a product.

Some time back, I purchased Better Homes & Gardens food storage containers. These are really nifty, semi-vacuum sealed containers for stuff prone to invasion by kitchen pests. This particular product exceeded my expectations because of a few design characteristics.

First, the tops tightly seal. The seal consists of a thick, rubber gasket. The top inserts into the container and you flip a large latch on the top. This draws the bottom of the container top upward, creating a slight vacuum and expanding the rubber gasket tightly against the container sides.

Second, (and this is way cool) the containers are made of clear, food-grade plastic. Consequently, you can see the entire gasket and whether or not a “critter” has invaded around the seal. I found a few of my supplies that I had stored in plastic, screw-top jars had been contaminated with moth larvae around their seals. The food inside was not contaminated, but merely opening the jar would probably send a shower of moth eggs into the contents. Yech! All  of the BH&G containers were 100% impervious to larvae. As a precaution, I simply wiped down each container with bleach.

The containers are available almost everywhere for $3-7 each, depending on the size.

Nifty!

That said, kitchen pests can move into places even where good kitchen hygiene is practiced. But they are a sure thing whenever cooks drop their guard or if cleanliness is not diligently practiced. I once cleaned out a “kosher” synagogue kitchen where rodent droppings hid amongst the (unsealed) supplies. GACK!

That’s why I was dismayed last week when “a little something” flitted by my eye as I did my cleanup after that week’s baking chores.

A pantry moth.

“Arrrrgghhhhhh!” I screamed. I immediately began scouring the kitchen for their source.

“Pantry moths” cover a lot of territory. There are bunches of species of these things and they all have their own food preferences. Unfortunately, many of them like a diverse diet and will eat: sesame seeds, nuts, chocolate, peppers, paprika, flour, matzos, grains, glue, dried flowers, and most other things we humans consider “ours”. One of the best sources of pantry moths is pet bird foods. YIKES!

Pantry moths are serious business. They can infest virtually anything not sealed in a can. When you see “one” moth, you’ve already got a pretty heavy infestation going. Once a food product is contaminated, there is no salvation. The product must be (quickly!) disposed of to prevent a bigger infestation.

I had a pretty good idea where I would find the source of our infestation. A few weeks earlier, I purchased two boxes of Mother’s barley from my local Target store. I mildly suspect any organic grains and dry goods as “potentially contaminated” and those get regular inspection and are carefully stored in sealed, vacuum pouches.

I sent an email to Target, giving the lot number and dates from the barley package. No response. Not even a “We regret any inconvenience…” To be fair, neither Target nor the manufacturer can be faulted much for a few bugs. These things can be found anywhere. Hopefully, Target and Mother’s did a spot check for bugs and the problem was confined to just a few unhappy cooks…or very surprised diners.

My duty to my fellow consumers fulfilled, I turned toward salvage and mitigation of the damage.

I opened the plastic bin where my whole grains were stored and out flew a moth. I picked up the box of barley and opened it…the barley was moving.

The box was full of moth larvae. These are thin, wiggling worms that are about a half-inch long. Gross! The box was spirited away to the dumpster and then the serious work began.

Each container of food had to be carefully inspected for pests. Fortunately, I almost never rely exclusively on twist-tied bags. Still, I found the infestation had spread to a jar of dried mushrooms (the top was loose), a poorly closed Tupperware container of basmati rice, and a long-forgotten bag of brown rice in the back of the pantry. These were all carefully bagged and destroyed.

All of the bins were removed outside and sprayed with kitchen-rated, pyrethrin-based insecticide. We had several nights of below-zero weather, so we left the bins outside to freeze…freezing kills larvae. The bins were thoroughly cleaned with soap and water and then a bleach rinse.

The food products we deemed “clean” were put inside other zip bags and removed to the deep freeze where they would remain for four days. No sense in having a new batch of eggs hatching.  Oh yes, the eggs are pretty ubiquitous in any grain or whole food and one moth can lay 100-400 eggs!

“How do you know if something is ‘clean’ versus ‘infested’?” Pantry moth larvae are prolific web-weavers. Anything with a web inside is deemed ‘contaminated’, even if the package appears sealed. Anything with a dead ‘anything’ inside is likewise deemed contaminated. Since only the adults lay eggs, one can safely assume that a product absent of a dead adult inside does not contain eggs…the larvae may enter but they have to mature (pupate) before they can lay eggs. Ergo (I love that word), no worms and no adults, no webs…”probably” clean.

Fun Fact: The moths lack chewing parts but the larvae can (!) chew through paper, cellophane, and thin plastic wrap. I found a “sealed” commercial package of panko with a minute hole in the side. Inside? Yep. Bugs. So be sure to inspect everything. “When in doubt, throw it out.”

Next, came fumigation.

With everything out of the pantry and cabinets, each closed space got a generous spray of kitchen-rated pyrethrin-based insecticide and then the doors were sealed with painter’s tape. [NOTE: Pyrethrins are very toxic to birds. “Thelma” was removed to a remote part of the house and kept behind its closed door for two days, until the other rooms had been carefully ventilated.] After a few hours the closed areas were reopened and the shelving was washed down with soap and water. Then, came the bleach.

The whole debugging process took about a week. The cost? About $100 in foodstuffs were lost or considered “possibly contaminated”.

What’s next?

Prevention!

I messed up and got the infestation because “just once” I brought in a raw grain without using (and checking) it immediately after purchase. Because the one box of barley was good, I assumed (incorrectly) that the other would be fine too. Given the time lapse between purchase and discovery and the level of infestation in the box, the box was likely infested at the time of purchase. Normally, even newly purchased grain items (in their original containers) are minimally placed in a zip-bag as a precaution. I goofed up.

Our normal protocol when buying bulk (10 pounds or more) supplies of grain and flour products has always been to place them on the bottom shelf of the deep freeze for at least four days. Then, they are carefully repackaged in vacuum-sealed bags. The bags are then stored in bins or in sealed 5-gallon pails. The process worked, as none of our long-term items were found to be contaminated. Whew!

Our new protocol has the added precaution of freezing all small quantity items that are not used within two days of purchase. These products are then placed in zip-bags with a bay leaf nestled alongside. Bay leaves repel most kitchen moths. The bagged items are then put inside a sealable tub for storage. NOTHING goes directly on the pantry shelf, unless it is in a can or bottle.

Going one step further…

Really neat preventative measures are “moth traps”. These are paper “houses” with flypaper on the floor and pheromone bait inside. They are non-toxic and safe, except to moths. Costing about six bucks for two, they last about three months.

Some species of kitchen and pantry moths adore peppers and dried flowers. Our pepper riastras were taken down, bagged, sprayed, and placed outdoors to freeze. It is likely that the little nasties had taken up homesteading inside them as well. Dried flower arrangements were similarly treated. Thankfully, the infestation was discovered in winter! Alternatively, such things can be bagged with mothballs for a few days; but do not use this method for any food items. We gave our decorative edibles the double treatment!

Opened boxes of anything are stored in the fridge. Low temperatures inhibit bugs but do not entirely stop them. Even if your dried, whole foods are properly stored, you must still be vigilant for the critters.

The traps have been clean for several days. It’s probably safe to say that we got lucky and successfully eradicated our “guests”. But the critters can be pretty cagey and seeing one moth will mean we will repeat our search for more.

Unfortunately, if you cook long enough and cook enough (period) you’ll have an experience with routine pantry pests (rodents are NOT routine). Even the cleanest places have the occasional outbreak. But, if you practice secure food storage and monitor your supplies regularly, you can minimize the damage and your financial loss. Our damages came to about a hundred bucks because I was absolutely ruthless in pronouncing something “unclean”. In a very busy home kitchen or in a commercial operation, an infestation of pantry moths can cost the cook thousands of dollars in lost food and cleaning expenses.

All it took was one un-examined box of barley…

With America’s Ukraine (Iowa) finally in the grips of winter, it’s time to pass along another soup recipe. And, to kill two squirrels with one stone, today’s recipe does not come from lands afar…this is an American traditional favorite.

What then, to do about a tribute to America’s Ukraine? I know, how about some Russian poetry?

Karashnikov’s “Another Christmas of Agony”:

 “Mischa the dog lies dead in the bog.

     The children cry over the carcass.

  The mist chokes my heart, covers the mourners.

     At least this year we eat.”

No, that’s not authentic Russian poetry, it’s a gag from the old sit-com Cheers. But if you’ve ever read Russian poetry (or prose) you’ll find the gag hilarious because it reflects the prevalent tone of the genre.

Okay, what about the recipe?

How about a little split pea soup?

I have to admit that I was periodically off the stuff during the Exorcist years. But on a cold winter day, split pea soup stands tall as a favorite of mine.

This soup can be made with meat or as a vegetarian meal. Since my Invisible Friend has an edict prohibiting pig-eating, I substitute turkey “ham” for the porcine stuff.

Morris, a rabbi, and Patrick, a Roman Catholic priest, had been enjoying lunch together in the park for many years. They’ve grown fond of each other and have always been respectful of their deeply different beliefs. Then, one day, Patrick leans over and whispers, “Morris, you Jews are not allowed to eat pork. But tell me, haven’t you ever at least tried it?”

Morris nods sadly. “Yes, I had a ham sandwich once. It was pretty good.”

The two men resume sitting quietly for a few minutes. Then, Morris leans over to whisper to his old friend, the priest.

“Pat, you priests take a vow of celibacy. All these years, I’ve been dying to ask you: Have you ever had sex?”

Pat nods, also sadly. “Yes, I had sex once. She was beautiful.”

Morris smiles broadly and slaps his friend’s knee…“And…it’s a hell of a lot better than a ham sandwich!”

Okay, okay…the recipe!

Some cooks like to use a bit of thyme or marjoram in pea soup. Other cooks make theirs with a bunch of bouquet garni. I like the clean, fresh taste of the peas and a bit of bay leaf helps bring out their flavors without overpowering them like other herbs might.

Remember our previous lesson on using lemon juice to brighten soups? We’ll do that here too. Go easy on the salt and let the lemon juice bring out the flavors of the peas and veggies.

Too many good pea soups get ruined when cooks add far too much salt. Potatoes and peas can handle a lot of seasoning (and may seem like they need it). But pea soup should not be overly salty. Again, use the lemon juice!

1 lb dried split peas

6-8 C water (see below)

2 bay leaves

1 C minced onion

3 carrots, diced

2 stalks celery, diced

1 large baking potato, large dice

2 C (turkey) ham, diced (optional)

2 cloves garlic, minced

¾ C instant mashed potatoes

½ tsp liquid smoke

1 TBS lemon juice

salt and freshly ground black pepper

Carefully sort the peas to remove foreign matter (like stones) and rinse at least twice to remove any grit. Place the peas in a large pot and add 6 C of water. Bring to a boil and then cover and reduce heat to (low) simmer. Cook about 4 hours or until the peas are soft. When the peas are soft, remove them from the heat and allow them to cool a bit. Then, using a hand (stick) blender, process the peas into a smooth consistency. You can also use a food processor or blender, but you will need to let the peas cool completely and work in batches.

Re-heat the peas over medium heat and add the bay leaves, onion, potato, garlic, and celery. Add another two cups of water. Cover and cook for about 20 minutes. Reduce the heat and add the turkey ham, liquid smoke, and the carrot. Cook for an additional 20 minutes or until the carrot is tender. Slowly stir in the instant mashed potatoes until the mixture is creamy. Add salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. Just before serving, stir in the lemon juice and re-check seasonings. Serve with crusty bread.

I didn’t budge. The car behind the gesturing, horn-blower joined in with a toot of its own.

I didn’t budge.

I was at an intersection that is diligently guarded by the corporate interests of the City of Des Moines and Gatso-USA. I was in the right turn lane and was dutifully stopped almost one foot behind the painted white pavement bar of “No Man’s Land”.

When it comes down to it, a government may fix a noose about your neck, but you are not compelled to jump from the gallows on your own volition.

According to the Iowa Code dealing with motor vehicle laws, a driver may turn right on a red light, but there is nothing to compel him/her to do so…

…unless he/she is intimidated by the blaring horn of the car behind.

I was not intimidated. There was no way under the sun that I would risk garnering a sixty-five dollar pledge card from Des Moines/Gatso. I certainly would not risk my wallet contents to someone I didn’t know, beyond his impatient gestures and horn-honking.

And, I am not compelled to drive at a speed above the posted minimum. Consequently, the I-235 Des Moines/Gatso fundraiser does not affect me. I dutifully drive a prudent 5mph below the posted limit.

Sure it annoys other drivers. But, nothing says I must drive as they wish and thereby subject myself to the “good will” of Des Moines/Gatso and hope they are honoring their “11mph threshold” of speed leniency.

It’s called a “rules strike”.

The principle of a rules strike is that absolute cooperation with the rules will ball up a system that depends on a percentage of rules violations to exist. In other words, 100% compliance with 100% of the rules of a system will cause that system to collapse.

If every driver dutifully drove 5pmh below a posted limit and refused to turn right on red at “camera protected” intersections, the cameras would become unprofitable and would go away.

The system depends on, and hopes for, a certain number of violations.

“It’s for safety.”

I call “BS”.

What about ‘other measures’?

Many Australians have come up with their own methods of dealing with Gatsos. Some Ozzies have “necklaced” the infernal devices with “tyres filled with petrol” and set them afire.

Justice: Ozzie-style

It is a sure venture that Des Moine’s unattended mobile speed trap, were it in Australia, would be neutralized with 1) a cricket bat, 2) two liters of petrol, and 3) a book of lucifers (matches).

No, violence is not the proper means. When the state holds all of the cards, and superior firepower, non-cooperation trumps violence as a means of protest.

Why the anger?

Why do these devices raise the hackles of people from across the political spectrum? Why are Iowa lawmakers considering a ban on them?

Low-tech Ozzie solution

Americans have a love for fairness. In long-gone days past, before “three-strikes laws” an American felon (after serving his/her time) could re-join the ranks of his fellow citizens in most things. Immigrants, fugitives or ex-convicts from regimes across the globe could come to America for a fresh start.

From its beginnings, Americans have harbored a reasonable expectation that, if they encounter the American law enforcement community and the judicial system, they will be treated fairly.

The automated enforcement devices run counter to American expectations for such fairness and it makes people angry.

The first unfair step…

The principle unfairness begins with how “violations” captured by the cameras are adjudicated.

Under the traditional American system of criminal justice, the state must prove its case against the accused “beyond a reasonable doubt”. The goal of such a system was to prevent government from using criminal

Counsel for the State

law as a means of intimidating the population. If it were hard to gain conviction, the state (goes the logic) would think twice before bringing specious charges against a citizen.

The first step the fundraising politicians engaged in was to move citations from criminal law into civil law.

In civil law, the burden of proof by the accuser is limited to “a preponderance of the evidence”. The difference between these levels of proof is enormous. By moving prohibited activities to civil levels of proof, it tips the scale of justice in favor of the state.

That’s just wrong and it runs counter to American sensitivities toward justice.

The “crime”…

It’s difficult (and immoral) to decry punishment of flagrant violations of law that place others at risk of injury or death. But it is neither difficult nor immoral to protest heavy-handed punishments of “technical violations”.

Many years ago, I taught community college classes to law enforcement officers. One of the courses was “Traffic Law Enforcement”. One of the fun facts cited in our text was that drivers on an interstate (freeway) commit about one to three technical violations per five miles traveled. In urban areas, drivers can be expected to make almost the same number of technical violations for each mile driven.

Hence, the financial bonanza for cash-strapped cities. One can almost hear city leaders bemoaning that they cannot apprehend (and fine!) every technical violation committed.

I urge readers to consult any state publication for driver training. Carefully read what is deemed proper and improper driving per that manual for lane usage, stopping, turning, signaling, etc.

The most egregious abuse of the red light cameras is capturing technical violations caused by turning right on red.

The driver stops behind the painted bar and then pulls forward to, according to the manual, “assure that the turn can be completed safely”. To do so, the driver must cross the painted bar…FLASH…gottcha! Now, the driver is wholly dependent on the mercy of Gatso, who has a financial horse in the race, to be merciful.

Sure, the driver can appeal. But remember under what rules!

The traditional, American fairness standards…

Remember the stereotypical motorcycle cop behind the billboard of years past? Even their fellow cops didn’t care for them.

Becoming the stereotype

Remember speed zones dropping from 65mph to 30mph in less than a few hundred feet with no warning?

Remember cops sitting a few feet inside of a speed zone with radar?

Many states enacted laws against those kinds of police conduct entirely because the practices were not fair to drivers.

We need to return to those standards.

Cameras will make us less safe…

Enforcement cameras do nothing to interdict impaired drivers, reckless drivers, and habitually bad drivers. A bad driver can garner hundreds of camera citations and, so long as he/she has the money to pay up, can continue driving badly and dangerously.

Enforcement cameras do nothing to apprehend people who tailgate, ignore lane markings, merge improperly, or drive on the shoulder to pass slower traffic.

With the cameras comes police complacency. “The cameras will handle the area. No need for patrols there.”

Enforcement cameras do nothing to assist stranded motorists and do not offer aid to motorists who encounter those who are truly criminally bent.

The cameras drive scofflaws from the camera enforcement areas and into neighborhoods. To “make up time” lost by innumerable red lights, speed zones, etc…folks will barrel through residential areas. To avoid camera “protected” intersections, people will bypass those intersections into neighborhoods where they can run stop signs with impunity.

The “it frees officers to do “more important jobs” myth…

Having cameras at intersections and set as mobile speed traps allows police officers to concentrate on “real” crimes involving the oft-cited trilogy of “guns, gangs, and drugs”.

If a community is so badly plagued by “guns, gangs and drugs” that officers do not have time and resources to devote to community policing in a traditional role, the war is lost and its time to nuke the city from space.

I have a question for police administrators who cite epidemics of “guns, gangs, and drugs” as an excuse for automated traffic enforcement.

“How could you let that happen?”

If a community is overrun with gangs and criminals of all stripes, I blame the police. They have failed. Where were they when the barbarians breached the city gates?

Of course a fourth element has entered the equation. The police now “fight terry wrists” on a routine basis.

Oh dear…the war was lost.

Toward Iowa common sense…

If Iowa has the common sense it touts to the nation every four years, it will reject turning crimes into civil cases simply because doing so is convenient to ensure victory in court. The state’s image of common sense and friendly people is not augmented by turning stretches of highways into speed traps where the cop in mirrored sunglasses is replaced by a camera.

Iowa common sense says that flagrant traffic violators should be apprehended and punished according to criminal law. Relying on technical violations smacks of mean-spiritedness.

Unless reined in, the cameras do not bode of an Orwellian dystopia, as some libertarians wrongly surmise.

No, the cameras will fade away and will be replaced by better enforcement technology.

What technology?

Cars can be equipped with GPS enabled transponders that interact with speed zone and traffic control devices. If a diver commits a violation, the transponder logs the time, location, and nature of the violation and the owner of the car gets a civil demand letter a few weeks later.

Zero-tolerance for traffic violations.

It’s the stuff that gets school kids handcuffed for eating a bag of fries on a city bus.

I don’t think that’s using common sense.

…again.

One of our favorite weeknight suppers is a modest repast of pita, fresh fruit, an assorted bit of cheeses, a couple of bites of smoked fish, and a glass or two of (cheap) wine.

A small cruet of oil sits by each place setting, along with a small plate.

It’s time to dip!

Each summer, my garden grows a bumper crop of fresh herbs. These are carefully washed and dried. Then they are placed in zippered bags for storage in a dark, cool place. Where bruschetta and its fresh-grown toppings rule in summer, pita and dried herbs reign in the cooler months.

First, a generous spoonful of herb mix is placed on the plate. Then, the olive oil is drizzled over the herbs. The finishing touch is a minute pinch of sea salt over all of it.

Simply break the pita, dip, and eat.

The herb mix?

Let’s make some.

The recipe calls for dried “everything” and it’s really fun and rewarding if most of the dried “everything” comes from your own garden! If you forgot to grow herbs last summer, use freshly purchased dried herbs of good quality.

The anise-like flavor from the fennel seed really compliments the herbs. Sometimes, I substitute dried peppermint for a completely different flavor. Be bold and experiment a bit with combinations.

2 tsp dried basil

2 tsp dried oregano

½ tsp fennel seed

1 tsp dehydrated garlic, NOT powdered

½ tsp dried thyme

½ tsp Aleppo pepper flakes

¼ tsp ground black pepper

Having a small mortar and pestle is a real plus here. When my heads of garlic start getting long in the tooth, I peel them and cut them into pieces about 3/8 of an inch in size. I run them through my dehydrator and then bag them up. You need a mortar and pestle to crush the dried garlic into pieces just larger than a grain of sand. Powder tends to clump in the mixture and, despite being a garlic-phile I really want to get the full range of flavors from my herbs.

HINT: When drying herbs, try to leave the herb leaves fairly large. Then just before use, put them in a small sandwich bag and crush them. Crushing herbs too far ahead of time allows the volatile oils (where the flavor is) to evaporate.

After processing the garlic, turn your attention to the fennel seeds. Place them in your mortar and pestle and give them a few vigorous “grinds” to release their flavor.

Place all of the ingredients into a good quality small jar and store your dipping herbs out of sunlight.

This mixture is also outstanding as a pizza seasoning and as an herb flavoring when enjoying whole-wheat pasta and oil.

Enjoy!

Last summer, shortly before Mrs. Phyne Dyner and I began our meditative journeys, we noticed an elderly Asian gentleman slowly walking down our street. His face was impassive as cars whizzed by him, the drivers oblivious to the signs posting a 25mph speed limit. Occasionally, the man would stop and peer into a tree, study a bush, or look at the ground. After a few moments he would resume his walk, his hands clasped gently behind him. Sometimes, he was accompanied by a young boy or by a woman of interminable age.

After winter (thankfully a mild one) settled in on America’s Ukraine of Iowa, we only saw the man occasionally. When he did appear, he was bundled up in a large, quilted coat that looked to be a good three sizes big for him. His wrinkled face peered from the depths of the coat’s hood.

A few weeks ago, as I swept a bit of snow from our walks, the gentleman ambled by. I waved a greeting and he waved back. He paused and watched me swing my broom, the snowflakes scattering before it like children pouring from a schoolhouse.

“Looks like we’re going to have a good winter”, I called to the man. He smiled and nodded vigorously. I introduced myself. He nodded and said his name was “Hugh”.

At least it sounded like “Hugh”. I found out a bit later that his name is Vietnamese and “Hugh” is actually “Hieu”, meaning “dutiful to parents”.

After a bit of an awkward silence the man raised his hand in farewell and slowly made his way down the street.

The topic of meditation never came up, but I’m fairly certain that the gentleman engages in kinhin (or kin hahn in Vietnamese), meditative walking. The Japanese version of kinhin we practice does not lend itself to public display; walking slowly (one pace per breath) with one’s hands clasped in front would be a sure way to alarm the local Scandanoofian Mrs Kravitzes who peer suspiciously at strangers from behind tented lace curtains.

It seems inconceivable to the Phyne Dyner that so many morbidly obese Iowans feel perfectly comfortable parading about in bicycle attire, but would call “the authorities” if a group of folks walked by doing kinhin. It’s why I meditate.

Anyway…

After a brief sitting meditation, we begin a short kinhin around the dining room table. Princess Adi gazes at us in wonderment while we walk. It is an interesting practice, as one must remain un-mindful, yet mindful to avoid tripping or stumbling.

Get off your zafu and walk

For the past few weeks, I have turned my daily non-meditative walk into a faster-paced version of Hieu’s. The unseasonably warm weather has brought out droves of walkers, bicyclists, and runners. Yesterday, after a wonderful sitting session in the warm sun (!) of the patio deck, I dragged my zafu cushion back indoors and then went back out to join them.

Hieu was among them.

We met and Hieu nodded politely. I exhausted about 75% of my Vietnamese vocabulary with a polite “Chao anh”. Hieu smiled broadly and said in impeccable Midwestern English, “Have a very pleasant walk.”

It was very pleasant.