phynedyning

Campbell’s responds to the poor economy

In General Information on April 1, 2011 at 9:33 am

Campbell's R&D team responds to higher beef and chicken prices

Campbell’s Soup Company probably holds the most recognizable brand image in the world.  During the 1960s, Andy Warhol made the Campbell’s tomato soup can an art-world icon.  All over America, millions of trailer park residents have marked weddings, funerals, divorces, and parole releases with dinners highlighted by green bean casseroles made with Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup.  There has been nothing in this world, since 1876 when the company first organized, that has been more reliable than the steadfastness of the Campbell’s line.  Even the can design and logo remain unchanged since Campbell’s selected the crimson and white colors in homage to the Cornell University football team.

During the Great Depression, Campbell’s tomato soup became the official meal for those desperate days; largely because Campbell’s was the first soup company able to produce a condensed tomato soup that did not separate in the can.

Today, Campbell’s announced that the company would, again, respond to America’s economic woes with the same level of innovation it showed during the Great Depression.

In order to offset high production costs of soups containing beef or chicken, Campbell’s has introduced a more economical line of soups to its product line.  The first to be released is its “Cream of Porcupine” product.

According to a Campbell’s spokesperson who demanded anonymity, the cream of porcupine label will be exclusively marketed in the upper Midwest; primarily in Minnesota and Michigan.  “We know rural folks up there have been clubbing porcupines for the dinner table for decades.  Now consumers in the formerly industrialized cities of Detroit, Flint, and Saginaw will be able to enjoy the traditional flavor of porcupine without the clubbing part.”

Cream of porcupine is only the beginning of Campbell’s response to higher beef and chicken prices.

The company plans to introduce other soups containing familiar tastes enjoyed in various regions of America.  There are plans for a May 2011 release of cream of opossum in Arkansas, Tennessee, and Kentucky.  In Texas and Oklahoma, Campbell’s will market cream of armadillo; as well as a low sodium gecko broth.  A vegetarian line will be released later this summer in Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota that insiders say will be based on prairie grasses of the region.

Campbell’s denies that the new product line is in response to economy-related changes announced by its rival at General Mills.

General Mills owns the Progresso label.

A different Campbell’s spokesperson, again demanding anonymity, said “We wish Progresso great success with its wallpaper paste and shoe leather combo.”  Progresso announced last week that it would be test-marketing its new soup in Stalingrad.

Share prices for Campbell’s plummeted on news that Progresso, who has been historically more upscale than Campbells, blind-sided its rival with its entry into the Slavic soup market.

Both companies appear to be working desperately to counter inroads by Chinese soup manufacturers who appear better prepared to respond to Americans with hard-pressed food budgets.

Woo Chow Dip, CEO of China’s Mee-Ow Foods, unexpectedly announced it was building two factories in the United States and also trumpeted its partnership with several animal rescue groups.  Real estate records show Mee-Ow Foods also recently acquired former General Motors assembly plants in Detroit and Saginaw.  Chow Dip provided Phyne Dyning reporters with this statement:

Dollah damn near wothless now.  If it cost dime to poo, American have to vomit.  We buy empty and idle General Motahs factory near dog pound.  Who laughing now, round-eyed imperialistic pig?”

Campbell’s and Progresso deny their recent product shifts are related to moves by Mee-Ow.

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