The Phyne Dyner recently took some R&R time and look what he missed:
In a last, dying gasp…
The official news organ for the Iowa Ministry of Economics and Tourism (The Des Moines Register) will begin charging a “subscription fee” to its online readers next month. The venerable newspapering business, as a whole, has fallen on hard times in recent years. Driven by declining readerships, newspaper publishers sought out high tech ways to fleece businesses out of advertising dollars.
Nebulous “page views” and “clicks” became the sales pitch and those terms replaced verifiable “circulation” and “cost per thousand” data. The Register sales staff hooted unverifiable reader statistics, but the paper’s advertisers were not buying any of it.
Online readers simply ignored ads and swatted away pesky banners and pop-ups like mosquitoes.
Every Sunday, racks of the Register sit ignored in the aisles of local mass food retailers. They simply take up space the retailer could use to sell their products.
On a recent shopping expedition, a bubbly (recently) post-teen harangued shoppers with, “Would you like a free copy of the Des Moines Register. There were few takers.
Phyne Dyning wholly supports the dying Register’s bid to remain profitable and will not be affected by the planned online subscription charge.
If only the Register’s managers would realize that profitability goes hand-in-hand with quality.
One need only take a few peeks at the Register’s professionally written pages for syntax errors, poor fact checking, and spelling mistakes to understand why nobody wanted a free copy of their paper…like…”the cause of the crash was faulty break (sic) lines”
Not the best place to be Black…
“I heard screamin’
And bullwhips cracking
How long? How long?” – “Southern Man” (Neil Young)
Central Iowa’s conformist monkeys point and hoot at the reconstructed Old South and Jim Crow…
…and ignore the increasingly obvious racial bias of Polk County Prosecutor, John Sarcone.
After members of Iowa’s largest, legal street gang, the Des Moines Police Department, gave Octavius Bonds an undeserved ASP-whipping (An ASP is a collapsible police truncheon.), and roughed up his companion Erin Evans, Sarcone failed to bring charges against the officers. Bonds and Evans are both African-American and were alleged to have failed in their civic duty to “Get on the f-ing ground” fast enough for the white officers.
In an embarrassment to Iowans, the feds had to step up with federal civil rights violations charges and obstruction charges against former DMPD
officers John Mailander and Mersed Dautovic. Mailander has since pled guilty to those charges. His arrival is being eagerly awaited by inmates at an undisclosed penitentiary.
Then, there is the case of Jay Lewis.
Lewis, a former (reformed) police officer, spent almost six months behind bars for defending himself against a pair of drunken thugs. After being pursued by the pair, Lewis dared to defend himself using his legally carried pistol. Despite strong evidence that Lewis was not the aggressor and that he acted reasonably and prudently, Sarcone filed felony charges against him.
Lewis, unable to make bail, lost virtually everything and found himself homeless after a jury found him not guilty of all charges and sprung him from the county gulag.
Mr. Lewis is African-American and dared get “uppity” by defending himself in West Des Moines. His assailants were both white. At least one of them was a convicted felon with numerous previous arrests for assault.
Under Iowa law, John Sarcone is immune from civil liability in the Lewis, Bonds, and Evans cases. But, he is not immune from federal prosecution. It is past time that federal authorities take a long, hard look at Sarcone’s office for being a potential harbor for Mississippi-ish racial bias.
Protecting the Constitutional liberties of everyone is one of the few legitimate functions of the federal government. Looking into Sarcone’s prosecutorial record is more appropriate for federal officials than spying on members of Occupy Des Moines, the Quakers, and Catholic Workers.
More gang-related news…
A member of Clive, Iowa’s legal street gang may have forgotten he was off-duty when he allegedly groped a female party guest against her will.
Lt. John Brodersen, 47, was charged with assault with intent to commit sexual abuse no injury, an aggravated misdemeanor.
He may have been following leads of Fort Dodge’s convicted uniformed sex abuse squad or the DMPD blue-suited gang-banger who attempted to sexually assault an intoxicated female while on duty.
If Brodersen were African-American, and was not a member of a local badge-carrying street gang, he would be decorating the interior of a Polk County jail cell under felony charges.
Gang-banger seeks promotion…
Sergeant “Dave” Murillo, member of the (legal) DMPD street gang and radio bombast, is seeking election as Warren County’s Sheriff.
Readers will recall that Murillo regularly referred to criminal defendants on his radio talk show CopTalk as ‘pukes’ and ‘mopes’. Those of us whom Murillo sees as unapprehended criminals (citizens), he demeaned as “people doing stupid”.
Murillo does not “do stupid”.
He changed his party affiliation from “Democrat” to “Republican” and thereby raised the IQ average for both parties.
Proving, once again, that intellect is not required to become one of today’s blue-suited street thugs, I submit West Des Moines PD’s very own Officer Adam Porath.
In the throes of a gallbladder attack, citizen Angela Smith dared to drive a whopping 14 mph over the posted speed limit. As Smith struggled to keep her bodily contents inside, Porath gave a prolonged roadside lecture on highway safety…and promised to deliver a traffic citation at Smith’s hospital bedside.
This is not the first time WDMPD has shown its officers to be dumber than a bag of hammers.
Okay, there’s the Jay Lewis case.
But then, there was the ongoing harassment by WDMPD of anti-torture demonstrators at Valley West Mall. Here (http://youtu.be/xtj2YwKeHvE) quick-witted WDM officers tell the demonstrators it’s “okay to do legal things”.
One more reason to avoid jury “duty”…
While idling away time as a potential juror, John Young sought to make some spare coin by boosting the wallet of another potential juror.
He may have a defense!
Jury “duty”, AKA legal involuntary servitude for the state, is an unfair labor practice and he was reduced to stealing to make up for income he lost when he was commanded to show up for a state-mandated indoor work detail (jury duty).
Screwing the pooch…
A northern Iowa man was charged with bestiality after he had a “sexual encounter” with a dog. He did so under a ruse that he was delivering propane to a customer.
Here’s where he went wrong.
Sex crimes are not to be committed by ordinary people.
Who did he think he was, a cop?
Stating the obvious…
Yes, it sucks to be a bankster during tough economic times and this is why banksters turn to Iowa politicians for help they can count on.
And there are still some slower-witted folks out there who do not know why the Occupy people are pissed. Yikes!
If I am only for me, what am I?
Temple B’nai Jeshurun recently hosted a large group from embattled Sudan to speak about the ongoing ethnic cleansing and warfare there. The conflict has spread from Darfur into the Nuba Mountains.
The event was attended by (almost) a minyan of local Jews. Phyne Dyner and Mrs. Phyne Dyner joined in a rousing rendition of Hinei Ma Tov with local activist Elton Davis and the ever civilly disobedient Sally Frank, led by Rabbi David Kaufman.
Local Yom Ha-Shoa (Holocaust Rememberance Day) events will be, conversely, attended by hundreds of local Jews.
The Jewish Federation of Des Moines was represented by Mark Finkelstein who, I am sure, was delighted by the presence of an American flag. Finkelstein stormed out of a September 11th multi-national and multi-faith memorial because there was no American flag (or any other flag) displayed at that event.
If ya want Mark, ya gotta have an American flag.
Forbes rated Des Moines as Number Two, nationally, for best cities for jobs. One of Phyne Dyner’s readers inquires, “Then why am I still unemployed?”
I dunno, Paula. Maybe you just haven’t been trying. I don’t mean to be rude, girl, but jumping on the blame the victim train is often the “Iowa Way”.
The best thing you can do to boost local employment figures and tumble unemployment statistics is to stop looking for work and don’t file for unemployment benefits.
Remember the motto: “If we can’t see you, you don’t exist.”
Fortunately the legions of clerks and city paper pushers were immune to being made redundant. Also among those sent home jobless…cemetery grounds-keepers and public works employees.
Now there will only be three city workers to watch the one using a shovel. There will, however, still be one clerk to hold a stack of forms while a second staples them together.
*Looking under a stack of papers*
That’ll teach me to take some time off.