phynedyning

Eggies: “Never peel another egg!”

In Reviews on April 13, 2012 at 10:09 am

A solution in search of a problem.

I don’t jump quickly for products bearing “As seen on TV” taglines; and Shlomi ‘Vince’ Offer of Shamwow and Schticky fame largely fuels my cynicism. Many folks would never guess that Vince, ‘The Headset Guy’, was born in Haifa, Israel. Here in the U.S., Vince peddles a variety of things to make housekeeping easier.

Having spent a good amount of time on Israeli army bases and in the homes of Israeli friends, my cynicism is rooted in my observation that it is unlikely that any Israeli could be an expert on matters of housekeeping.

Never mind that, since Eggies are not one of Shlomi’s offerings.

“Never peel another egg!” screams the brightly colored package. Eggies are clearly marketed as a labor saving item for cooks.

The heavily edited television spot for Eggies made them look easy to use. Just pour the egg into the Eggie, screw on the top, boil, twist, and eat.

I simply had to have them.

 

"Some assembly required."

On opening the box the Eggies came in, I found an inner plastic bag containing what appeared to be an early model artificial heart in several pieces. The instructions told me there were four parts to an Eggie: The cap, the top half, the bottom half, and a threaded collar.

Not true! There are five parts.

They did not list separately, a silicone rubber band-like o-ring fitted to the top half. This band is precisely engineered to fly off of the larger part when it is handled, soar through the air, and land under the refrigerator. The two pages of enclosed instructions did not tell me how to thwart the flying o-ring effect.

Here’s the old-fashioned way to make boiled eggs: Place the eggs in a pot. Cover the eggs with water. Heat water to boiling and cook eggs for 7-10 minutes. Drain, cool, peel, and eat.

Whew! Exhausting work that.

Here’s the simpler, Eggies method: Carefully wipe cooking oil to the inside surfaces of the top and bottom halves, fit the top half to the bottom half, secure the halves together using the threaded collar, pour a whole egg through the (half-inch diameter!) hole in the top half, screw the cap onto the top half while holding the bottom half to prevent the threaded collar from loosening, place at least 2 ¾ inches of water in a saucepan to allow the Eggies to float, bring the water to a boil, reduce heat to a rolling boil, cook eggs for desired time, remove Eggies from hot water using a slotted spoon, allow to cool, remove the threaded collar, gently twist the upper half from the lower half, gently squeeze the egg from the bottom half, use a knife to pry out eggs that stick, enjoy your cooked eggs.

It just can’t get easier.

WTF?

The instructions also cautioned me to wash my new Eggies before using them for the first time. I thought this would be a good way to run a shake down cruise in assembling them as well.

After about thirty-five minutes and only succeeding in assembling four (out of six) Eggies, I decided that the chicken’s tukkes used less effort in producing an egg.

I carefully re-packaged my Eggies (less at least one of the high flying o-rings) into their now much-too-small box and returned them for a cheerfully provided refund of their ten-dollar purchase price.

Later that night, I had a recurring nightmare where demons forced me to pour raw eggs through half-inch holes.

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