phynedyning

The Titan Vegetable Peeler

In Reviews, Shameless plug on October 1, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Okay, kiddoes. It’s time for another Phyne Dyner’sreview and, maybe, a “shameless plug” for something used in the kitchen.

Once again, we’ll dive into the shallow end of the product pool and review another “As Seen on TV” product…

…The Titan Vegetable Peeler and Julienne “thingy”. I purchased both, as a set of two, at my local Bed, Bath, andBeyondoutlet.

Normally, I lean toward the OxoGood Grips stuff. Suddenly, a flash of metal caught my eye and, quick as a crow, I was on the Titan display and eyeballing what looked like a package of two, Soviet-era safety razors. These things look “all business”. I snagged the set of two up for $14.99, plus the extortion fee levied by the state. With my BB&B coupon, I paid about ten bucks.

I dashed home, looking for veggies to peel. The packaging, of course, nearly decapitated me as I struggled through the blister pack. Finally, the two peelers were liberated from packaging secure enough to ship nuclear waste.

They had a nice “heft” to them and handled exactly like a Soviet-era safety razor. I had read other reviews of the peelers. A lot of other reviewers found the peelers fragile and complained that the blades fell off of the handles with some regularity. I, of course, subjected the blades to some rough handling and tugging. They stayed firmly anchored to the gleaming stainless steel handles. Next, they were dutifully washed. In the process, I learned a valuable lesson.

“Holy Crap! Those things are sharp!”

The first thing to come to mind was that they could do double duty harvesting skin grafts from cadavers. I darned near harvested several inches of skin from my left hand just washing them. Consequently…

…MORON WARNING : If you are going to vote in the upcoming elections, do NOT buy this item. You will only hurt yourself. Clearly, this is a device intended for adult use. I am absolutely amazed that the list of precautions and warnings that the item is “known to the State of California” do not fill a tome the size of a St. Louis telephone directory.

Observation 1: This is a “push-pull” device. The blade cuts two ways and that’s great for peeling carrots, cukes, and other stuff. Peeling turnips requires surgeon-like dexterity if you want to end the peeling session with most of the skin still on your non-dominant hand.

Observation 2: This is not a speed device. Rate of peeling is directly proportional to the pound weight of flesh lost.

Observation 3: Keep your eyes on your work. I paid as much attention to where my digits were during peeling as I would to a basket filled with king cobras.

Observation 4: I would pass these out as party favors at an “all you can drink” gathering of Young Democrats and Young Republicans. It would spell the end of the two-party monopoly.

The julienne peeler?

Meh.

‘Tis okay for making fancy-pants cukes and such. But I would not buy one. I only have one because it was part of the set.

Overall, the peeler works as advertised. You do have to be careful when peeling potatoes or other round stuff…one slip and there goes some meat into your vegetarian meal.

SUMMARY

I like it. It peels quickly and is scalpel-sharp. The julienne thingy may come in handy some day. But, for ten bucks, the peeler works well. Just be sure to pay the premiums on your AD&D policy before ordering.

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