phynedyning

Ran-dumb thoughts…

In Editorial on October 24, 2012 at 11:41 am

I sat down to scrawl my weekly Phyne Dyning editorial and drew (another) blank. For a moment, I believed I had a coherent thought about one topic. It was only gas. As a result, my three readers will be treated to another “Random Thoughts” editorial. PD

 

The health care crisis sails on…

The other day, one of my coffee drinking wags quipped over his third cuppa of the morning, “People come (to the US) from all over the world to buy health care. Nobody comes here to buy health insurance.”

Naturally, the government solution is to force everyone to buy health insurance.

This is akin to White Star Lines selling more passenger tickets for the Titanic than fitting her out with more lifeboats.

Another at our table commented, “What would happen if automobile insurance operated like health insurance?”

–       Oil changes and all other preventative maintenance would be covered with a five-dollar co-pay.

–       If, when trying to run over a politician on the sidewalk, your front tire hits the curb and knocks the wheel alignment out, your auto insurance would pay to periodically replace the front tires, but would not pay to fix the alignment.

–       Your auto repair guy goes mute when you ask how much a repair costs before he does the work.

–       Auto parts stores would not have prices posted. You simply select your part and the greasy-handed clerk checks with your insurer to see if you are authorized to buy the part.

–       Every wrecked car would be repaired, no exceptions.

–       Monthly premiums would run into the thousands of dollars per vehicle.

Politicians (being the invertebrates they are) see it natural for them not to fix the broken system. It makes much more sense (to them) to force more people into it.

Relax. Let the poison work.

Only two more weeks until the Advance Auction of the Stolen Merchandise

As expected, the (un)news media is dutifully reporting that the polls indicate the presidential race is “too close to call”. Cue the bass drum!

America’s heavily orchestrated election theater is packed.

A few evenings ago, I had imbibed sufficient cheap vodka to allow me to sit through the third, and thank G-d, final debate between Frick and Frack.

The two men glared at each other. They quoted advertising taglines (called “platform planks”). They cited phony statistics. They sneered at each other.

And they said nothing.

Phyne Dyning has decided to endorse a presidential candidate…

…H.P. Lovecraft’s fanciful cosmic evil, Cthulhu.

Why?

I like his campaign slogan: “Why choose between lesser evils.”

Bullets? What bullets?

The alternative press is abuzz with wonderings about ammunition purchases by the Department of Homeland Security (Sieg Heil!).

The agency has purchased an estimated 1.2 billion rounds of .40cal and 5.56mm ammunition. DHS, who is accountable to nobody, has since shuffled the ammo to other federal agencies, including: The Social Security Administration and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA).

What would the folks running America’s Ponzi scheme and state’s weather geeks want with small arms ammunition?

Nobody knows.

The purchase and transfer has since been declared “classified” by DHS (Sieg Heil!). Making anything “classified” only adds to curiosity. Consequently, conspiracy theories abound.

The theory being bantered about most is that the federal government is preparing for the coming American economic collapse where even Greece and Zimbabwe might look like economic havens for Americans.

Could be. It could also be preparation for when the reign of Cthulhu resumes.

“Occam’s Razor” states, “The most logical reason for a given phenomenon is the one involving the fewest steps.”

Mitt(ens) Romney babbled just enough about “protecting the rights of hunters” to put the NRA-ites back into their coma and the current Messiah in Chief briefly mentioned his desire to resuscitate the failed Assault Weapons Ban.

The professional parasites infesting D.C.’s Dome of Confusion have been quiet about “sensible gun control”. It is, after all, close to the final act in this round of election follies. A few weeks prior to their donning a cloak of silence about their plans for us, the usual suspects slithered out some test statements about the future of gun control. Boiled down, most of those plans come down to:

“Americans will be allowed to keep and bear arms in accordance with the US Constitution. They just won’t be able to buy bullets for them. Bwa-ha-HA!”

Right after the election curtain falls in November, watch for emerging legislation to:

–       Ban internet sales of ammunition.

–       Restrict or ban bulk purchases of ammunition.

–       Ban the sale of all imported ammunition.

Conspiracy theories aside, the feds are simply (oddly enough) engaging in the only economic principle they (periodically) understand, “buy low, sell high”.

When civilian ammunition purchases become limited to 50 rounds (or some other, arbitrarily determined amount) per month (or year), many ammunition manufacturers and sellers will simply fade away. A black market for ammunition will emerge and prices will skyrocket. Twenty rounds of 5.56mm will probably cost over a hundred bucks; more if the nutty plan to serial number ammunition comes to be a reality.

It worked for Prohibition and the “War on Drugs”.

The feds are simply buying what they can, while they can. It’s much more titillating to write about “Obama’s emerging, private army” than are the principles of supply and demand.

Yes, it’s that simple.

Now, with almonds!

Apple, just in time for the holy retail season, announced the launch of its smaller version of the iPad.

And you didn’t even know you wanted it. That’s the miracle of marketing.

Keeping to the menstruation humor theme that came with the launch of their iPad, watch for Apple taglines like, “The Mini-iPad, for those light information flow days.”

Hurry, folks are lining up outside of Apple stores near you!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: