Shocking News: “Zero Dark Thirty” panned in Pakistan

In Lifestyle on February 20, 2013 at 3:52 pm
Poster: Columbia Pictures

Poster: Columbia Pictures

I find the revelation that Kathryn Bigelow’s sop to the military-industrial-Congressional-banking complex was not well-received in Pakistan to be as shattering as breaking news that water is wet. I’ve not seen the film and I probably will not. Enduring her previous ‘hit’, The Hurt Locker, was painful enough. I escaped by sleeping through over half of it.

I didn’t much care for it.

I’m not just cynical about her movie’s reception in Pakistan. It’s likely Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will got a similarly cool reception in Tel Aviv.

I’ve seen some war movies. It’s a bit disquieting to say one is ‘entertaining’. I suppose the Roman games had a similar effect on people.

I’ve not been to war. But I’ve been shot at a few times.

I didn’t much care for it either.

I’ve seen a lot of dead people too. ‘Dead’ as in ‘not prettied up by the mortician yet’, or ‘so bad the mortician puked’. I neither like, nor dislike, being in the company of the dead any more or less than I like, or dislike, being in the company of the living. I don’t think I’d care much for a battlefield full of dead people.

I recall talking to a patient of mine several years ago. He was a WWII lieutenant and was an eye-witness to the Normandy invasion. The movie Saving Private Ryan had just been released and he was skimming my tattered news magazine giving praise to the movie’s beachfront realism. He looked up and said, “It was worse.”

Then, we talked about horses.

I’ve lived a life Blessedly sheltered from the mass violence of war. I don’t feel a bit deprived. Nearly all of the guys I know that went to war envy me. I don’t know how that feels. Thank G-d.

Panned in Tel Aviv

Panned in Tel Aviv

The whole military thing, as practiced, leaves me dry. If someone told me, “Shoot him”, I’d retort “Why?” If the other mook had a lick of sense, he’d ask his commanders the same thing. I have a feeling a lot of people on either side are starting to use the same logic I’m applying.

General Robert E. Lee is exampled as saying, “It is well that war is so terrible, lest we should grow fond of it.” It’s uncertain if General Lee ever said such a thing, but it is nice to imagine.

War is getting less terrible through the miracle of drone warfare and our Dear Leaders exalt in vaporizing their real and imagined enemies by remote control. What kind of carnage will war-profiteers, like Bigelow, show their blood-thirsty audiences? Watching the US missile go down a Baghdad chimney was cool only the first time I saw it. I’d be bored witless if I had to watch it for over two hours.

If war movies float your boat, you’d better get several copies of the old ones. The new ones are going to suck.



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